Today I saw a comment from a blogger that I follow and I even identify with some things she posts, but this comment, I disagreed, and not only disagreed but I had an immense will from there, in her post, write all that.
The comment, which was in fact a criticism, and of the fiercest, was about newborn mothers, who often do not want to disentangle their babies for anything, and who do not entrust to others, in the case of family and friends, the care of these babies Newly arrived
I am here to say no, this mother is not there to be judged but welcomed.
Sad that kind of criticism comes from another mother. In fact, I’m telling you that many of them must have a certain type of amnesia, or would it be selective memory?
What the new mother needs is to be cared for so she can take care of, that’s what she needs! And do not be criticized and disrespected.
There are grandmothers, aunts, mothers-in-law, sister-sisters, doulas, neighbors … (anyone who is supposed to be the support of this new mother), who expect to see their mothers reflecting themselves, feel that if they are there to supposedly ” They have the right to do it their way.
In the name of the experience you have, you think you have the right to say that everything and everything you do with your child is wrong, it’s horrible, it’s violent, poor thing, it’s bad. Unless it’s the same as it did.
And that is so sad, because these criticisms come most often at such a fragile moment that she can barely argue. In fact they do not have the strength to fight, but, yes, this mother wants the best for her baby. And believe me, she’s doing her best.
In that she does not have more strength, sometimes she gives in and gives her baby to this “caretaker” to do in the way that “she” thinks is the best way.
And that’s not right, no one has the right to steal anyone’s motherhood. No one is the lady of truth about raising or educating the children of others, whether they have blood ties or not.
But if they find a newborn mother ahead who is able to impose their limits, that’s when time closes.
For to them the very fact that you have made your choices, and that they are different from yours is already an affront, it is as if everything she has done is wrong. And this supposed judgment will certainly be attacked with many criticisms and discriminations. Is it the help this new mother needs?
It is there, once again that the internet appeared in the world to help moms, because the support they did not have they find in groups of mothers in whatsApp, facebook, Instagram … And that good, not everything is lost.
And there is also the hope that these grandmothers, aunts, mothers-in-law, sisters … cleansing themselves of every feeling of competition, frustration and bitterness to receive this great blessing that is a child. It is very important that the elders know how to change places, leaving aside judgments and conflicts to give place to what really matters that it is love the tenderness that only this generation gap can provide.
I can tell you that whatever newborn mother DOES NOT need is someone running with her, or anyone telling her what she needs to do, unless she asks, of course.
This new mother needs affection, of silence, of support. Because no one will take better care of this child than a mother could do. In fact, that should not be the priority. How about you volunteer to take care of the house and the food? How about giving support in what this mother decided for the baby?
How about supporting more and criticizing less, how much to accept more and question less, how to love more and judge less?